Thursday, April 24, 2008

Now that's harsh


Every once in a while, I run across an item on the news wire or on the Internet that stops me dead in my tracks. Such was the case with a Reuters dispatch today out of Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo. According to Reuters, police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers who have been accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises. I'll let that sink in for a minute. OK, back to the story. Police also took 14 alleged victims of sorcery into custody. The men claimed that the black magic practitioners touched them to make their genitals shrivel up or disappear. Some say the assailants' aim was to extort money in exchange for a cure. The arrests of both the alleged shrinkers and shrinkees were carried out to prevent bloodshed, according to police in Kinshasa, who said 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs in Ghana about 10 years back. Reuters quoted Kinshasa police chief Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, who had this to say: "When you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that, I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it.'" Sound advice. So, we may have plenty of problems here in the good old US of A, but I've never had someone threaten to harm my penis. Well, maybe a couple of ex-girlfriends, but certainly not a witch doctor. By the way, the photo you see with this post is of Michelangelo's David. I know it has nothing to do with the Congo story, but it's not easy finding photos to go with penis stories, at least without offending anyone. Who can argue with high art? I'm hoping to have an update on this story later in the year. My friend Dave is planning a trip to Africa in the fall, and we'll see if he can bring up back a first-person report. Watch your goodies, buddy!

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14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Women all over the world have been legally stealing and shrinking men's penises (as opposed to animal penises)for millenia. It's called marriage.

April 24, 2008 at 8:17 PM  
Blogger PRIguy said...

I wonder if the men complaining of the shrinking or non-functioning penises are, oh, I don't know...in their 70s. With the fragile male ego, particularly in that particular area of the body, it might be easier to convince oneself that the simple but cruel ravages of old age are actually caused by sorcery. I'm not sure the women would buy it, but I can see where it could be plausible for a man whose goodies aren't what they used to be...particularly in a part of the world where Viagra and Cialis and such are probably tough to get. Unless they have Internet access, in which case every third e-mail is selling them.

April 25, 2008 at 5:55 AM  
Blogger Amanda Gillooly said...

Why couldn't they use their power for good and make the penises bigger? All the sorcerers go to the bad side, when they could have a lucrative business. I'm sure men would be throwing money at them to complete that service...
PS - Any confirmed unics?

April 25, 2008 at 10:38 AM  
Blogger Amanda Gillooly said...

You can pretend I spelled that correctly :)

April 25, 2008 at 2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bought a hair dryer and got my hair cut so short that I don't use it.

I bought a new electric razor and grew a beard.

I was going to buy condoms but ...

April 25, 2008 at 5:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amanda:

Re: penis enlargement -- All a bigger axe does is make digging the ditch go faster. Is that what you REALLY want?

April 25, 2008 at 5:06 PM  
Blogger PRIguy said...

No matter what is said, all of you ladies tell us size doesn't matter...right?

April 25, 2008 at 9:45 PM  
Blogger Amanda Gillooly said...

Wow. An attempt at humor gone terribly, terribly wrong.

April 28, 2008 at 10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm .. comments about penises seem to be flagging.

April 28, 2008 at 11:21 AM  
Blogger Monique Ringling said...

I tried to not comment but I have to.
Gentlemen: Let's pretend you just finished working on a roof in, lets say 98 degree weather, and your extremely thirsty. You have two choices of something to drink. 2 ounces of water or 16 ounces of water. Now I ask you, Does size really matter?

April 28, 2008 at 11:24 AM  
Blogger Harry Funk said...

That's "eunuchs." It comes in handy to be one if you're applying for a job guarding an Ottoman Empire harem.

April 28, 2008 at 1:14 PM  
Blogger Brant said...

Monique, let me ask you this: What if that 16-ounce drink was just a quick, one-shot deal, but that two-ounce bottle could be refilled, over and over and over again? Just wondering. And let me be clear that we're just talking about post-roofing water. Right?

April 28, 2008 at 10:43 PM  
Blogger Monique Ringling said...

Brant, You make a good point. I guess that's why we usually test the waters to help us decide which is most refreshing and no matter what the size/amount it's always important to think of the environment. I've read a lot of stories about studies on those plastic bottles and how hazardous they are.
;-)

April 29, 2008 at 7:46 AM  
Blogger Brant said...

Especially if those plastic "ring things" are involved.

April 29, 2008 at 8:41 AM  

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