Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Nobody wants Melonhead? Aaaawwww


Poor, poor Barry Bonds. Major League Baseball's all-time home run king can't find a team that wants him. Anyone want to help me schedule the pity party? The players union has even gone so far as to raise "concerns" with the commissioner's office about the lack of offers to Barry, Barry Quite Contrary. What's not to like about Bonds? Well, he's a 43-year-old who is a shadow of his former self, especially in the field, where he has become a liability. So maybe he could be a designated hitter in the American League. But wait. He's also one of the bigger horse's asses ever to walk the face of the Earth. He was not exactly beloved by his teammates in San Francisco. Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated once said that when Bonds dies, the visitation for his friends to pay their respects could be held in a changing room. Then there's that whole steroids thing. Bonds' story is that he never "knowingly" took them. They just got slipped into him somehow. The government didn't buy that story. And that's another drawback for a team signing Bonds. He's up on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. Maybe Barry should switch to football. He sounds like Al Davis' kind of guy.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Amanda Gillooly said...

Just a stupid side note about Melonhead: Apparently he lived in one of the upscale Moon Township neighborhoods when he first came to the Pirates. My aunt told me that one of her clients lived across the street and had no clue who Bonds was. All she noticed was a black dude she didn't know cutting the lawn across the street. She wanted to approach him if he'd be willing to cut her lawn, as well. Luckily for her, someone told her who he was before she offered to pay him $50 for the job. I don't think he would have taken that well.

May 7, 2008 at 4:48 PM  
Blogger PRIguy said...

Barry Bonds is a prime example of what is wrong with professional sports. He has/had talent, but an ego to match. I hate the ego, the massive salary, the special treatment, the lies, the denial...all the things that have helped to bring him to unemployment. Screw him. In my eyes, Aaron holds the record, asterisk or not.

On a related note, did anyone see the interview with Kobe Bryant after he was given the NBA MVP award? What a piece of work! The PR and marketing team he must have following him around at all times did a wonderful job. The egotistical narcissist praised his teammates, his wife, his children, his coach. I will never believe that he meant a word of it. He's an arrogant jerk, but losing millions of dollars after nailing a cheap piece of white trash in a hotel room must have taught him to take the focus off of himself and try to act more human. Like all the major league teams when it comes to Bonds' contract...I just don't buy it.

May 7, 2008 at 8:31 PM  
Blogger Brant said...

Amen on Kobe Bryant. Every time I see him, I think to myself, "I don't believe a damn thing he says." It all seems carefully plotted out by some unseen advisers. The guy is one of the biggest two-faced dipsticks in American sports. It was just last offseason that he was demanding to be traded, and earlier this same season that he was dissing his teammates. Now that the team is doing well and he's won the MVP, it's all peaches and cream. If they lose in the next round of the playoffs, you can expect him to go back to dissing his teammates and, before next year, demanding a trade. What an idiot.

May 7, 2008 at 11:19 PM  
Blogger PRIguy said...

Having a background in PR, I know a bit about the behind-the-scenes work that is done for celebrities, athletes and politicians. I'll give Bryant credit...he seemed sincere. Must be the acting experience he received back when he had endorsements...you know...before the white trash sex romp scandal. Now THAT was when he should have had the PR people. In that interview, he looked more pissed off at getting caught, at the deluge of media coverage, and the fact that no one really seemed to believe him than remorseful over cheating on his goddess of a wife. (Shame on her too. She should have taken her half of those millions and hauled ass.)

He's nothing more than a punk liar, MVP or not. Brant's right...should the Lakers' season go sour, it will be anyone's fault but his. After all, he IS this year's MVP, right?

May 8, 2008 at 1:23 PM  

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