Saturday, September 27, 2008

In the name of all that's holy, set your DVRs!

I've been down with a bad head cold today and watching a lot of college football. I've also been subjected to frequent airings of a promo on WTAE-TV about a "major story" that's coming up on Monday. Sally Wiggin will be talking with Steelers safety Troy Polamalu about ... the fact that he's going to be having a kid. You've got to be joking. If Troy's wife dropped the little bundle of joy in my driveway, I might peek outside to see how things were going. Otherwise, who gives a rat's rectum? It's not like impregnating one's significant other is, in usual circumstances, a major achievement. And even if you have to try and try and try (Hey, what's wrong with that?) or visit a fertility expert, it's still nothing out of the ordinary. For cripe's sake, Clay Aiken and Ricky Martin have kids. If the Polamalu baby is born with two heads, let me know. I'll look for WTAE's five-part series.



Blogger Dale Lolley said...

That's why I cringe every time the Steelers are on MNF. It means another sit-downwith Sally.
Sally's a nice person, but come on, is this necessary?

September 27, 2008 at 11:07 PM  
Blogger Ellipses said...

Correction: Clay Aiken has what is known as a "Claby"... The fact that his claby is 1/2 Aiken makes it different from any other organism on earth.
It's kinda like this... there are children, and then there are chuck norris' children. Norris children are typically 1/2 Norris, and 1/2 lawn tractor, microwave oven, wood chipper, or some other somesuch technology.

Similarly, Troy's child will herculean in nature... being the product of a union betwixt a God and a mortal woman.


September 28, 2008 at 7:44 AM  
Blogger PRIguy said...

I probably won't have the privilege of seeing this interview here in Richmond. I might write to the network and complain, too. I can't think of anything more interesting when it comes to the Steelers than the Polamalus' propagation.

I love the Steelers and I think Pittsburgh's a great town, but from what I hear, it's probably a good thing that I don't get the saturation coverage of all things Steelers, all the time.

However, in this part of the country, we do have Virginia Tech and St. Beamer...

September 29, 2008 at 8:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The last time we had a major flood in Pittsburgh proper, most of the news that weekend was about ... the Penguins' renegotiation of Mario Lemieux's contract. Martians could land in Market Square on a Monday, but if the Steelers' QB has a cold, that leads.

"Teasing" is a bunch of crap. Years ago, the Pittsburgh TV stations just after 6 p.m. on a Saturday led with something like, "One injured in crash at Washington County air show. Details at 11."

It turned out that a plane had indeed crashed. Problem was, it was a WWII vintage bomber that was not planning to take off -- it was being used solely to taxi people around the runway. And it had skidded off the side of the runway and gotten stuck. I believe one of the passengers received a bloody nose. A story? Sure. Worth holding for 5 hours? Hardly.

"New at 5:30. Device allows you to see through walls!"

It's called a window.

September 29, 2008 at 9:39 AM  
Blogger Brant said...


September 29, 2008 at 10:36 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

Clay Aiken is a true man. That guy has so much machismo that all he has to do is look at woman and she becomes pregnant. Look out Sally Wiggins.

September 30, 2008 at 9:42 AM  

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