You poor, poor baby
There's a lady named Missy Chase Lapine (shown at left) who is involved in litigation claiming that Jerry Seinfeld's wife stole her idea for a kids cookbook, and now she's whining about a joke Seinfeld made about her. Jerry was on David Letterman's show and joked that people with three names - such as James Earl Ray and Mark David Chapman - have turned out to be assassins. In a court filing related to her lawsuit, Lapine expressed how terribly horrified she was by those comments, saying she "never felt so frightened and vulnerable" as when her 7-year-old daughter came home from school and asked "Mom, what is an assassin?" For gawd's sake. First, my BS detector is going off like nobody's business. Second, if you've never felt so frightened and vulnerable before, you've had one hell of an easy life. Third, it's hard to take seriously a grown woman who goes by the name of "Missy." Fourth, just shut up. There were two correct responses to the question purportedly posed by Missy Jr. The first: "Honey, that was just a man making a joke. Don't worry about it." The second: "If you want to know the meaning of the word, look it up in the dictionary. And, if you just look up the first three letters, that's what some people think your mother is."