Memories of meat

Some experiences from childhood never leave us, and sometimes those experiences involve food: Grandma's macaroni salad, Mom's fried chicken, etc. One food from my childhood that I'll never forget was the barbecued beef sandwich at Weber's snack bar and ice cream stand, just past Lincoln Hill on Route 40 on the way to Claysville. The place had great french fries, soft-serve ice cream, burgers and jumbo fish sandwiches, but it was Mrs. Weber's barbecued beef that lingers in my mind. It's probably the single best sandwich I've ever eaten. The Weber family sold the business when I was still a youngster, and it went through several incarnations before burning to the ground a year or so ago. The food was still good the last time I was there, but it never approached the Weber's days. I would actually have to consider sacrificing an appendage if someone could get me the recipe for Mrs. Weber's crowning culinary achievement. Feel free to share your memories of long-gone restaurants and their signature dishes. I'm sure others will enjoy your recollections.

Gee, is someone up for re-election?

The recent actions of state Rep. John Perzel warrant the creation of a separate wing for him in the Pantheon of Pennsylvania Panderers. The biggest selling point when lawmakers were trying to win approval for slots gambling in Pennsylvania was the widespread property tax relief the slots proceeds would supposedly create. But Perzel has other ideas. He recently proposed that the property tax relief, at least initially, go only to senior citizens, and the Philadelphia Republican suggested that if Democratic Gov. Ed Rendell didn't like it and decided to veto such legislation, it would mean that Rendell hated the elderly. The measure won initial House passage by a wide margin. Do you think it's a coincidence that Perzel and the other members of the House are up for re-election this year, and that old people vote with much more regularity than younger folks? Now, I don't hate the elderly. My parents fall into that category, and I'll be getting my AARP card this year, but there are more people than just senior citizens who need a little relief from property taxes. I would much rather see more of the money go to young people with children who are trying to pay a mortgage, feed and clothe their kids, etc., than give all the relief to elderly people who most often already own their homes and have only taxes and upkeep to worry about. Perzel and the other House members who supported his legislation will surely get plenty of mileage out of their noble bid to help our senior citizens when primary time rolls around. But lest anyone forget Perzel's grand gesture before the November election, perhaps Perzel should go on a whistle-stop tour of Pennsylvania this fall, stop in every town and city, and pucker up and smooch the backsides of every retiree he can find. He's doing it symbolically now. Why not do it for real later?

Customer service - Yeah, right

Not to sound like Andy Rooney here, but did you ever have a problem with a company’s customer service department? Sure you have. Some companies do a better job than others, and it’s like manna from heaven when an actual person answers the phone, rather than those recorded people who invariably direct you to someone who can’t help you. I recently had quite the time with a well-known telephone and media conglomerate. At long last, folks in my rural area gained the ability to get high-speed Internet service, and I was on that like white on rice. That part was pretty easy, probably because I was buying something from them. The necessary adjustments were made to my phone line in short order, and a box with the needed equipment arrived quickly. The missus quickly set about installing the new doo-dads (she handles all the high-technology stuff; my last great technological breakthrough was figuring out how to defrost something in the microwave at half power), and after a couple of adjustments, it worked like a charm. Now came the hard part: Because of the upgrade, I no longer needed a call-forwarding service when I was on the Internet, and I easily canceled that. But I also no longer needed the phone company to forward calls to this service, and getting that changed was about as enjoyable as oral surgery. After many, many phone calls and hours on hold waiting for various people who, again, couldn’t actually help me, I finally accomplished my goal. I vowed not to go through this again, so I decided to register my account so that I can manage my own phone, TV and Internet services online, without the need to dive again into the seventh circle of customer service hell. Another mistake. I went online to register and found that I would need a special PIN number to accomplish the registration. OK, they promised to mail me one, and it arrived a few days later. Now confident that my goal was within reach, I returned to the Web site, plugged in the PIN and was told that it didn’t match the one on file for me, and that I could NOT register without the correct PIN. Sadly, I tried to call them. After a half-hour on hold, I gave up, went to their customer service Web site and begged them to send me a helpful e-mail. The customer service lady’s response was that I should make sure to hold down the caps key on my keyboard when typing in the PIN. That was it. No further instructions. I sent back an e-mail explaining that, since I’m not profoundly retarded, I was able to recognize and type in capital letters, which I had done. I also told them that unless they would send me an e-mail or call me back with a useful PIN number, I was washing my hands of the whole mess. To my surprise, someone called me back with a PIN number … at SEVEN A.M. Now, mind you, I work until midnight and generally don’t go to sleep until 2 a.m., so 7 in the A.M. is pretty early to me. But, you say, why not just ignore the phone and roll over. Might be easy for you, but I have three dogs that really, REALLY want you to answer the phone each and every time it rings. So, as I write this, I’ve been up since SEVEN A.M. I’m afraid to try the new PIN number, because if it doesn’t work this time, the next place you might see me is on “Cops.”

Gay's OK - As long as you mean "happy" gay

Another Western Pennsylvania Presbyterian church voted recently to break from Presbyterian Church (USA) and join a more conservative outfit. These churches, including Peters Creek Presbyterian in Washington County, cite a number of reasons for the changes in affiliation, but anyone with the slightest ability to read between the lines knows the main reason: the national church just isn’t doing enough to keep gays at bay. A couple of years ago, the PCUSA’s General Assembly approved a measure that essentially allows individual churches to overlook the fact that a person is a practicing homosexual (or non-chaste heterosexual, for that matter) when considering them for leadership positions in the church (elder, deacon, etc.). And according to their interpretation of the Bible, the conservatives can’t be party to that. Perhaps we should remember that the Bible was written by folks who weren’t exactly living in days of great enlightenment. Stoning people to death was the punishment of choice for serious offenses. Also, it’s pretty easy to see that people of most religions today pick and choose which parts of their “good books” they want to follow. (Try this link - www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html - if you want a good laugh.) Bottom line: Should churches be discriminating against people because of their sexual orientation? Let’s discuss.

The Tiger tale

You’ve all probably heard by now about the controversy swirling around Golf Channel anchor Kelly Tilghman and Tiger Woods. During a discussion about how the other golfers on the PGA Tour could overcome Tiger’s dominance, Tilghman suggested that they “lynch him in a back alley.” Without getting into a history lesson here, anyone with half a brain recognizes that as a stupid and highly insensitive comment. I’m sure it didn’t take Tilghman long to realize she screwed up. She apologized to Tiger, who is a friend of hers, and he accepted the apology and said no further action was necessary. Well, of course, Al Sharpton wasn’t satisfied with that outcome. He called for her immediate firing, apparently recognizing that he’d never get the folks at the Golf Channel to agree to a firing squad. The Golf Channel bowed down partially and suspended Tilghman for a couple of weeks. Tilghman’s choice of words, at face value, is indefensible, but isn’t it high time that people of every color, religion or political affiliation quit going ballistic every time someone says something dumb that they feel is offensive. As someone who once worked in the electronic media, talking over the radio for hours at a time, I can tell you that if you do that kind of job long enough, you’re going to screw up at some point and wish you could take back the words that just slipped out of your mouth. Tilghman has not made a habit of offensive on-air statements. It was a one-time brain cramp, for which she apologized and should be forgiven. Al Sharpton wanted her stripped of her job. I sure don’t remember him volunteering to quit his “job” for helping to perpetrate the Tawana Brawley hoax. In the words of the immortal Sgt. Hulka, “LIGHTEN UP!”

Money, money, money

I’m no economist. Balancing the checkbook is about the extent of my financial wizardry. But am I the only one who thinks we might not need the currently contemplated economic stimulus package if we hadn’t spent HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS of dollars on the war in Iraq? Imagine how stimulated our economy would have been if we had taken those billions and spent them on a massive program to rebuild our country’s crumbling infrastructure. Thousands upon thousands of jobs would be created, from those doing the actual construction to those making the steel and other materials needed for such an undertaking. Perhaps we also could have spent some of those billions on alternative energy programs so that we could end or at least reduce our reliance on foreign oil and other fuels that foul our environment. Those are just two areas where the hundreds of billions might have been better spent. I’m sure you can think of more.

Turning a new leaf

Washington Councilman Matt Staniszewski has been sentenced to jail for his repeated DUI offenses, and while some small part of me feels sorry for the guy and what he’s going through, he really has no one else to blame but himself. Staniszewski is no longer of an age at which he can use the get-out-of-jail-free card we sometimes dispense to young people who make a mistake in their lives. Hey, I got a DUI when I was a young guy serving in the military and admittedly made some very poor decisions at that point in my life. Many of us were pretty stupid as teens and early 20-somethings. But the councilman, who in general seems light a bright and personable guy, made the same mistake over and over. You could argue that he has an alcohol problem that overwhelmed him and caused him to make bad decisions. But if he wanted to drink to excess, couldn’t he have done it in the privacy of his own home and not gotten behind the wheel of a car? Or gotten someone else to drive? The law may or may not require that Staniszewski resign his post, and Staniszewski is probably right when he says Mayor Sonny Spossey’s bid to push him out has some political element, but for the good of the councilman and the city, it’s probably best that he quit his elected post and get his life back in order. I wish him well.