Viagramelon

Apparently, watermelon contains a chemical that relaxes blood vessels in the same way that Viagra does. When blood vessels relax, they let more of the elixir of life flow to the exxxtremities. That is some pretty awesome news for watermelon farmers, and not so much for Pfizer, which closed down almost 1.5%. The magic is in the citrulline which, when metabolized, changes into arginine, also known as the “bottle rocket” amino acid if you catch my drift. There are a couple of things about this story that are disappointing, though. First, 60% of the citrulline is in the rind of the melon, so if you want the full effect, you have to horse up and eat the shell. Then there is that dark horse of nutritional sciences: quantity. I recall a news story from years ago that said hot dogs cause Leukemia. It went on to say that your risk of developing Leukemia would be x% higher if you ate the equivalent of something like 6 hot dogs a day for 12 years or some ridiculous quantity like that. Such is true for this scenario as well. To get any sparks to fly from your roman candle, you need to eat at least 6 cups of watermelon. There’s nothing like being randy and full of soggy fruit… sounds like a recipe for a different kind of fireworks. So, what lights your fuse? Macaroni salad? Taco dip? Cheap beer and bug spray? Post your surefire aphrodisiacs from the epicurean world.