The Dipsticks of the Month Award goes to ...

The folks at the National Federation of the Blind apparently have a lot - a lot - of time on their hands. They just issued a major news release condemning the new movie "Blindness" and announcing their plans to protest "across the nation" when the film opens Friday. In a nutshell, the movie's about a sudden epidemic of blindness that strikes a city. Hence, the name of the film. The newly blind people are quarantined because it's believed the affliction is contagious. Mayhem ensues. A character played by Julianne Moore, however, does not go blind, and the Federation says she is portrayed as "physically, mentally and morally superior to the others because she still has her sight." None of us has seen the film yet, so it's hard for us to argue about the "mentally and morally" part, but if she can see and everyone around her is blind, well, yes, she IS physically superior to them. Sorry about that. Dr. Marc Maurer, president of the Blind Federation, chastises the filmmakers for depicting the blind characters as being "unable to do even the simplest things like dressing, bathing and finding the bathroom." For gawd's sake, Dr. Maurer, the movie isn't portraying people who have been blind for quite some time. These characters are NEWLY blind, and they're understandably hysterical. Of course they're having some problems handling the basics of life. If I were suddenly stricken blind in the middle of a big city, I'd be panicked and lucky to find my a$$ with both hands, but I would adapt, just as your constituents have. In his statement, Maurer rambles on and on about how blind people can do the same things as sighted people, such as work, raise a family, go camping, etc. Yeah, we know that. He also claims that "portraying the blind on movie screens across America as little better than animals will reinforce the unfounded fears, misconceptions and stereotypes in the general public about blindness." No it won't, you dolt. The general public doesn't believe blind people are shambling idiots who should be locked up somewhere. The movie can't exacerbate feelings that don't exist. Perhaps Maurer's most ridiculous claim is that this movie will cause the unemployment rate of blind people to rise. Yeah, I can just hear the personnel directors now: "Hey, don't hire that blind feller. Didn't you see those crazy sightless people in that movie?" Oh, yeah, it's a movie. It's not real. You need to get a grip, Dr. Maurer. My suggestion to you and any other of your people who are worried about the effects of this movie is to have a couple of glasses of red wine. It takes the edge off for me. And, yes, I'm well aware that you can get the cork out yourself.