Wednesday, December 17, 2008

No hate cake for you

A couple of goofballs from New Jersey who gave their children hate-based names are miffed that a local supermarket refused to inscribe a birthday cake with the name of their oldest child. You see, these idiots named their boy Adolph Hitler. The folks at the ShopRite store deemed the request inappropriate, so Heath and Deborah Campbell, shown above with the 3-year-old modern-day fuhrer, had to get their cake at Wal-Mart. Hey, they'd just finished doing a Mussolini cake, so what they heck. Just for the record, the Campbells have two other children, Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell (well, that's not so bad), who turns 1 in April, and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell (ouch, there we go again), who will be 2 in a few months. Heath Campbell professes to be amazed by the controversy. Said the dad, "I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they've been in and start focusing on the future and not on the past." Uh huh. This from a guy who named his kid after a genocidal dictator who has been DEAD FOR 63 YEARS! Yeah, you have a lot of credibility, buddy. Campbell also noted that among the dozen guests at a birthday party for young Hitler were several children of mixed race. "If we're so racist, then why would I have them come into my home?" he asked. Hey, it's one thing to have "them" in your home for an hour of two, but answer me this: Did you throw out the utensils they used when the party was over? Just wondering. Campbell, who during an interview with the AP wore a pair of black boots he said had been worn by a German soldier during World War II, provided the stunning revelation that he had been raised to avoid mixing socially or romantically with people of other races. But, by golly, he's different. "Say (Adoph) grows up and hangs out with black people. That's fine, I really don't care," said Campbell. "That's his choice." So, if Adolph wants to grab a burger with a black kid from school, his dad won't stand in the way. What a humanitarian. Call the Nobel people. You hate to wish ill on anyone, but my thought after reading the AP story about these idiots was that the best thing that could happen to the three kids in this family would be for the parents to be taken out by a well-placed lightning bolt so that the children could be raised by people who are not world-class jackasses.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I'm wondering is how can the parents of mixed race children let them go to a birthday party for a kid named "Adolph Hitler". We all know that there are a lot of wacko's running around today, but this has to take the cake. No pun intended.


December 17, 2008 at 12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My grandfather's middle name was Adolph, but he was born in Germany in 1908, before the rise of Der Fuhrer. After WWII, he tried to keep his middle name as discreet as possible, going by Rudolph A. Hundt.

There are people here and there with the last name of Hitler who have nothing to do with the family of Adolph Hitler. Imagine how it must be going through your life with that last name, or hearing your name called over loudspeakers: "Will Jimmy Hitler please report to the ticket counter. Jimmy Hitler..."

Maybe their next kid will be named Joseph Stalin Campbell.

--Brad Hundt

December 17, 2008 at 1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, you can name your kid anything you want -- how many baseball players were named Jesus at one time? And then we have Moon Unit Zappa. But you have to wonder about these folks. Another case of parents saddling their kids with a goofy name without a thought to what consequences the kids will bear after his parents are dead. Of course the kid can change his name. Richard M. Nixon Campbell, anyone?

December 18, 2008 at 8:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read this story yesterday and really thought it was a joke when I saw the headline. Nope they really named thier kid Adolph Hitler. On purpose! Nice.

Imagine when the kid is in school in a few years and they learn about that little piece of history. Kids are already mean, they are going to make that kid's life miserable.

Thise kids are going to grow up and be hateful and close minded just like thier parents.


December 18, 2008 at 11:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The male part of this tweedle-dee duo said people should get their heads out of the cloud. The only peopl who had their heads in a cloud were these two nut jobs, a cloud of marijuana smoke probably, to sentence their kids to ridicule and teasing the rest of their lives.

December 18, 2008 at 10:23 PM  
Blogger PRIguy said...

I think they named the kid as they did for no other reason than to generate controversy, and thereby, attention. And they're getting just that.

It's obvious they don't care about the kids. Or dental hygiene for that matter.

December 19, 2008 at 7:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder if our tax dollars go towards paying these sloth's well-being? You need a license to have a pet, a car, etc. Why not a child? A child's welfare is far more important than a freaking car! Congratulations parents for selfishly creating human life that will, like yourselves: do nothing; grow up in a bubble without hope; learn to hate and discriminate; mooch off of society; repeat the cycle in a few short years.

December 19, 2008 at 9:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just thought of something here. not that it wasnt obvious already that these parents just want to be in the spotlight, this happened in prior years so they knew that the store would not do the cake for them. Why not make your own darn cake?

If you really named your kid adolf hitler because you liked the name and you knew that a store was going to make a big deal out of it just make your own cake! It's not hard, you pretty much just open a box viola! Your cake can say anything you want it to, but...Oh wait, that would not have caused all this media attention.

December 19, 2008 at 11:10 AM  
Blogger PRIguy said...

I sense that the ACLU's phone number isn't very far from the Campbell's reach. Watch and see...they'll sue that grocery store.

December 19, 2008 at 11:31 AM  
Blogger Richard Dirt said...

When I first read this story, I had the obvious, "who would do that to their kids?" reaction. Then I thought about it - I don't think I want anyone telling me what to name my kid. Although it's socially inappropriate and an obvious publicity stunt, where do you draw the line? All of those stories in like, Sweden or some shit where the gov. wouldn't let someone name their kid ACII!@))SKLD or whatever, seriously? Too "big brother" for me. I hate to admit that I lean slightly libertarian on issues such as these.

I'm also glad to know that my tax dollars in the form of welfare are going towards buying little Adolf Hitler McRetardson a birthday cake. And will probably be supporting him into adulthood, in between prison and his infrequent employed stints as a gas station clerk. (Not that there's anything wrong with being a gas station clerk.)

My birthday's in a month, remind me to write out my entire name (including middle) on the cake. Since people always do that.

December 30, 2008 at 4:27 PM  

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