Those Brazilians are one tough breed

From the I-can’t-believe-they-need-to-make-a-law-against-this department comes word that the state of New Jersey is considering a ban on, um, genital waxing. Specifically, the state Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling – am I the only one who chuckled when reading that? – wants to prohibit so-called Brazilian bikini waxes after two women were hospitalized for infections after undergoing the “procedures.” Being a person not familiar with waxing of any sort, aside from the use of candles, I did a little research and learned that a “Brazilian” involves the application of hot wax and a yanking motion to remove each and every hair from a person’s body “down South.” That’s front, rear and all points in between, I’m led to believe. And just a warning here. Do not, NOT, let the kids look up bikini waxing on Wikipedia. Yikes! I’ll pause a minute here while you all look up bikini waxing on Wikipedia. OK. Now I recognize that ladies like to look their best on the beach in the warm months, and a little, uh, landscaping is probably advisable. But, number one, there has to be a better way. And, number two, it’s not really necessary for you ladies to go to the extremes required for you to wear a bikini with a front the size of a postage stamp. We fellas have a pretty good idea of the general female anatomy in that region, whether you cover it with a cotton ball or a kaftan. You can limit the advertising, is what I’m saying. I’m not suggesting that you want to do your own pelvic tribute to Larry Fine from the Three Stooges, but a little moderation seems to be in order here. I also have learned that some “men” go in for this waxing to remove unwanted hair. You know who you are, and you should immediately turn in your “guy card.”