Friday, July 18, 2008

Stand by your man ... for a while


The AP is reporting that Dennis Kozlowski, who's behind bars for looting millions from Tyco International to finance a lavish lifestyle, has reached a divorce settlement with his wife, Karen. You might remember the testimony at Kozlowski's trial regarding the multimillion-dollar birthday party he threw for his wife on the Mediterranean island of Sardinia, financed in large part with Tyco funds. Kozlowski flew in Jimmy Buffet and his band at a cost of a quarter-million dollars, and guests got their beverages in an interesting way. An ice sculpture of Michelangelo's David had vodka shooting from its penis. Classy folks, those Kozlowskis. Karen Kozlowski, an ex-waitress who became Dennis Kozlowski's second wife in 2001, filed the divorce papers just months after her hubby went to the big house in 2006. Terms of the settlement weren't disclosed, but it's safe to say the soon-to-be-ex-Mrs. Kozlowski should benefit nicely from the divvying up of assets, including the sale of a 15,000-square-foot Florida mansion the couple bought for $19 million. Karen Kozlowski's attorney, Jason Marks, provided the comic relief. Said Marks, "She has been at his side from the beginning of all of his legal problems through the very end." No, she hasn't. The VERY END would be when he gets OUT OF PRISON. Marks went on: "The terms of their marital settlement agreement ... is a reflection of that support and commitment." Uh, no it's not. I'm guessing it's a reflection of her realization that the gravy train has gone off the tracks, and it's time to take the money and run. Every time I see one of these jet-set couples where the wife is considerably younger and better looking than the husband, I always wonder, would she have given him a second look if he sold TVs at Sears? Would Katie Holmes have married Tom Cruise if he introduced himself to her as a hot dog vendor who could turn her on to a really freakish cult? Closer to home, would 23-year-old hottie Kristin Georgi have married 84 Lumber founder Joe Hardy, who was born in the 1920s, if he had been passing out carts at Wal-Mart? You get the idea. Perhaps you could add to the list of women who married guys they wouldn't have paid any attention to, were they not rich and famous.

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11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Joe hardy issue makes it too easy to make a joke about him "bringing the wood"...

Ellipses

July 18, 2008 at 8:23 PM  
Blogger Brant said...

But only in the morning.

July 18, 2008 at 8:31 PM  
Anonymous The Pittsburgh Rare | Pittsburgh Real Estate said...

How about Melania & Donald Trump? Would she really have paid attention to him, if he weren't rich and famous?

July 18, 2008 at 9:04 PM  
Anonymous Captain said...

Sadly, I must say that if I ever got that wealthy, I would hope it would do something for me other than a good lifestyle. On th eother hand, I would not want my daughter in the predicament of being the trophy wife to an old geezer....so goes the web we weave...

Can you say Anna Nicole SMith and J. Howard Marshall? She eventually got some of the money and died terribly....money dont really ever get you a darn thing

July 18, 2008 at 10:35 PM  
Blogger Brant said...

Captain, I sometimes think that the more money and "stuff" we accumulate, the less we appreciate it, and the further we get from focusing on the really important things in life: health, family, our communities, etc.

July 18, 2008 at 11:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, top this:

Wook Kunder . . . Muhamad Noor Che Musa (Malaysian couple in 2006; She: 104. He: 33)

I can only imagine the marital ass ets.

July 20, 2008 at 4:17 PM  
Blogger Brant said...

The only good thing about sleeping with a 104-year-old is that you know you're not going to have to do it for long.

July 21, 2008 at 9:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The liquor flowed out of the penis of an ice sculpture. I dont think I'd drink it.

A Washington County regular guy.

July 24, 2008 at 11:11 PM  
Blogger Ellipses said...

I don't know...

If I found myself at that douche-nozzle's wedding... I'd probably blow an ice sculpture for some vodka :-)

-ellipses

July 25, 2008 at 9:26 AM  
Blogger Brant said...

What a photo that would make for the wedding album.

July 25, 2008 at 11:31 AM  
Blogger Ellipses said...

Especially if I were wearing a bridesmaid's dress...

Hey, you know that "line"... I'm gonna go ahead and "uncross" it now...

-ellipses

July 25, 2008 at 6:30 PM  

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