Hollywood's big night
I'm a big-time movie fan, and also an awards show junkie, so you can well imagine how excited I get about the Academy Awards. I started watching the Oscars when I was a kid, pretty much forcing my parents to watch with me and fill out ballots with their picks for the winners in the various categories. Last night, I attended a party at which the attendees dressed as characters from this year's batch of nominated films and performances. My son and I dressed as the assassins from "In Bruges," and I can't even begin to tell you how frightening it was to see my friend George in a nun's outfit, his homage to Meryl Streep in "Doubt." Here are a few disjointed observations about the evening's proceedings.
- Note to Goldie Hawn: I'm guessing you're in your 60s now. When the "girls" start to leak out the side of the dress, it's a good time to start thinking about covering up a bit.
- Favorite line of the evening: I think Sean Penn is as big a jackass as the next person, but his line after winning the best actor award for his portrayal of gay activist Harvey Milk was great. Said Penn, "You commie, homo-loving sons of guns."
- Miley Cyrus (above) wore a gown that looked like the skirt from my grandmother's Christmas tree.
- I don't think there's ever an excuse for a man to hit a woman, but every time I see Angelina Jolie, I want to slap her.
- Novelist Salman Rushdie took a few shots at best picture winner "Slumdog Millionaire," saying the film isn't believable because it "piles impossibility on impossibility." Yo, dipstick, it's not a freakin' documentary.
- Meryl Streep had the right approach to getting dolled up for the evening. When asked whether it was hard to pick a gown, she replied, "No, it wasn't. The dress fit."
- The dress did not fit presenter Whoopi Goldberg. In fact, it looked as if she was wearing a leopard-print couch cover that she had saved since the '70s.
- They totally butchered the part of the show where they honor those who died during the past year.
- The bit with the guys from "Pineapple Express" was hilarious.
- I wish Mickey Rourke had won, just to hear his acceptance speech.