Double dose of dumbness

If anybody still doubts that the Christian right wing is filled with more than its share of haters, here are a couple of fresh examples:

Mike Huckabee, who ran for the Republican presidential nomination in 2008 and is likely to seek it again two years from now, says that support of gay marriage is akin to legalizing incest, polygamy and drug use. I could argue that comparing Mike Huckabee to a decent human being is like comparing monkey dung to New York strip steak, but I digress. I'm guessing that Huckabee is not a stupid man, though he hasn't gone out of his way to answer whether he believes the Earth is only a few thousand years old. So, I'm left with the explanation that Huckabee is deliberately acting like an idiot. Huckabee recently told The Perspective, a news magazine at the College of New Jersey, that the country shouldn’t try to accommodate every group’s interests. Then he offered this bit of genius: “That would be like saying, well, there’s lots of people who like to use drugs, so let’s go ahead and accommodate those who want to use drugs. There are some people who believe in incest, so we should accommodate them. There are people who believe in polygamy, should we accommodate them?” The big point that Huckabee misses here – no doubt on purpose – is that people choose to engage in incest, polygamy and drug-taking. But gay people are born gay. Anyone who doesn't believe that is clearly delusional, and there's really no point trying to argue with them. Stupid is stupid. And I don’t expect anything less from Huckabee, who once came out in favor of isolating AIDS sufferers from the rest of the population. Detention camps, anyone? When it comes to gay marriage, I don't think the terminology is really all that important. Don't want to call it marriage? Well then, how about just giving gay couples each and every right now enjoyed by heterosexual couples, with the provision that churches that aren’t interested in taking part won’t be forced to handle the weddings or civil union ceremonies, or whatever you want to call them. I'm still waiting for a good answer on why this shouldn’t happen, immediately.

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Just when I thought that Huckabee's remarks would be the dopiest thing I saw this week, a friend passed on to me an item from the Huffington Post about a statement made by Bryan Fischer, who is described as the “director of issues analysis” for the American Family Association. Fischer is saying that Muslims now living in the United States should be shipped back to Muslim lands, “where they can live in a culture that shares their values, a place where they can once again be at home, surrounded by people who cherish their deeply held ideals.“ Wowzers. This guy makes Huckabee sound like Desmond Tutu. Has Fischer somehow blocked from his mind that we are a nation of immigrants, made up of people who came here with different beliefs and cultures? Has he forgotten that we are a nation that prides itself on freedom of religion? But it gets worse. Fischer goes on to say that Muslims living here who have not yet become citizens should be automatically denied naturalization, and that our country can “use the money we would otherwise spend on their welfare, their education, their medical care and their incarceration to graciously assist them in returning to their countries of origin.“ Fischer does, however, make an exception. He says Muslims who accept Christianity and renounce their faith, Allah, Mohammed and the Koran could be welcomed as “good Christians“ and “true Americans.” If Fischer is an example of a good Christian and a true American, then I feel sorry for the Christian faith and America in general. Fortunately, that's not the case. I typically don't revel in others’ misfortune, but in this instance, it wouldn’t sadden me greatly if I learned that someone “graciously assisted” Fischer, a raging bigot, in falling down a long flight of stairs. And perhaps the American Indians should pick up on Fischer’s idea and boot out all the descendants of the violent immigrants who brought their strange religions with them and terrorized the Indians centuries ago. Granted, that’s a bit unwieldy. Let's start with a smaller plan, one that calls for Huckabee and Fischer to find another place to live. America would instantly become a better country.

From the people who brought you slavery …

You can always count on the folks in Mississippi to try to drag the country back into the Dark Ages (or, in their case, maintain the status quo). A rural school district in the Jackson area has canceled the prom at Itawamba County Agricultural High School because a lesbian student wanted to wear a tuxedo and bring her girlfriend. The cowardly school board wouldn’t even admit the reason for its decision, saying only that the action was in response to “recent distractions.” But Constance McMillen, shown above, is certain that the board was targeting her for trying to upset the apple cart. McMillen told The Clarion-Register newspaper that “a bunch of kids at school are really going to hate me for this, so in a way it’s really retaliation.” The district issued a statement expressing its hope that “private citizens” will organize a prom. It didn’t mention whether the district hoped that those private citizens will harbor a deep and abiding hatred for gay people and keep them from mingling with the "normal" kids. We'll just have to read between the lines. I'm also guessing they have no objection to banjo-plucking inbreds coming to the prom together. First cousins? Fine and dandy. Brother and sister? That's just family togetherness. But gay people? No freakin' way. What’s sad is that most of Constance’s fellow students probably couldn’t care less whether she brings a female date. It's the adults who are making a mess of this. It’s like canceling recess for the whole class because one kid spoke without raising his hand. The district statement said board members made their ruling after “taking into consideration the education, safety and well-being of our students.” Say what? Education? Are they afraid that the students might learn that not everyone in the world is exactly like them? Safety and well-being? Are they afraid Constance or her date are going to pull a gun and force everyone to listen to Indigo Girls CDs and ditch their heels for more sensible shoes? Constance said the district told her that she and her girlfriend could not arrive at the prom together, that she couldn’t sport a tuxedo and that the couple might be asked to vacate the premises if their attendance at the prom made any other kids “uncomfortable.” What about students who might be uncomfortable with bigotry? I guess that’s not a concern.

Racism is alive and well

So much for that "City of Brotherly Love" thing. According to an AP story, a day camp director says her kids were tossed out of a private swim club recently in suburban Philadelphia after members allegedly questioned what black children were doing in the pool. Creative Steps day camp had paid fees to swim at the pool, but camp director Alethea Wright says three of her kids told her they heard members of The Valley Club ask what blacks were doing there. Several days later, Wright says the camp’s swimming fees were refunded, without explanation. The president of the club, John Duesler, told a Philly television station that several club members had lodged complaints because the black children "fundamentally changed the atmosphere" at the pool. He said the complaints didn't involve race. Noooooooo. Of course not. The members were probably concerned that the black kids would create safety hazards by getting fried chicken grease all over the diving board and spitting watermelon seeds everywhere. What's next at The Valley Club? Night swimming, softly lit by burning crosses?